Friday, 22 September 2017

Snapshots & Musings

At the final annual dinner with my ex-company, we were at a fancy place high above the bustling cityscape, with Twin Towers in close view. I'd ordered lobster yee mein, which was done quite right to my taste. Throughout dinner, with the ebb and flow of conversations around me, I overheard some guys at the next table (a different function) talking about student life, internships and break. How I missed those older days. Here I was, in the company of my ex-boss and colleagues, trying to stay awake in the dim lighting and thinking about my impending end of job contract. I felt quite anxious (still am, btw), and fearful of the future (like I've always been). What kind of career do I want? What life I aspire to build?

Some people like to create a private gallery in their homes. I wonder whether our generation does this any more. Washing photos, putting them in frames, arraying those frames on walls - sounds like only something restaurant owners, art gallery staff and the elderly would do. Well, in the future when I have my own place, I'll probably start a collection. The kinds of images I like tend to be evocative (see above). I have an enduring fascination with light and shadows. The interplay between light and dark says much about the duality we encounter in life. GRRM quoted Faulkner when he talked about how he approached writing: "the human heart in conflict with itself". I think that sums up most of our life struggles succinctly. Good and bad exist in us, just as there are good and bad karma. How we approach the world and how the world treats us have bearings on our life - and I think I enjoy art that has these concepts and depth. 

Sometime towards the end of August I accompanied my dad on a trip down to Raub. My relationship with him wasn't exactly good and healthy, to be honest. We may have our differences in personality, attitude and approach to the world, but one thing we did agree on during that father-son bonding time (haha) was this coffee at Master Kopitiam, which my dad's friend had kindly brought us to. The coffee had just the right balance of aroma, taste and texture. How happy were we to stumble on such a good find! Life may throw us some curve balls, and life may offer us small joyous moments like this. I think I got along better with my dad after that trip.

It's the time of the year again when IKEA tantalises us with a new catalogue of its offerings. Ever since last January when I decided to make over parts of our house, I've turned into a big IKEA fan. Those well-thought-out show rooms and aesthetically posed furniture photos have captivated my heart, even though their "home furnishings" are quite simple and sometimes expensive. When I get bored or in want of a change of mood, I like to walk around these set pieces in IKEA. I'm gravitated towards their colour, design, cleanliness and order, which can be a sight for sore eyes for city dwellers like me who rarely travel to other places. Also, aren't we curious about what kind of spaces other people live in? Like, do they use daring colours and bold features in decorating their rooms? Do they like minimalistic, monochrome rooms, surgically clean, calm and neutral? I started out appreciating white, streamlined Nordic designs, but now I'm expanding my tastes to other areas. Can't wait to have my own pad, haha. Better start working hard, then.

Monday, 6 February 2017

丁酉年2017

简单的剪纸,满满的祝福


不是红红火火也一样绚丽

百闻不如一见

每个人心里都有自己的一个padang

说是庆丰收,也不为过

新鲜刚摘的柚子

简直是天堂

平平淡淡地过了年
有点儿惋惜
年味没了
长大之后
时过境迁
物是人非
什么大喜大悲都经历了
反而向往
以平常心过小日子

Saturday, 24 December 2016

Some Book Reviews, 2016

Dracula: Bram Stoker's most famous story has a unique way of narrating to make fiction as real as it could be, at least in the 1800s. Documents, letters, telegrams, diary entries and newspaper reports were collated to present an account of vampirism. In certain chapters, there were local dialects and pidgins included, which were difficult to decipher and just took the fun out of reading the story. Other than that, perhaps most striking to me was the titular character was unseen most of the time, with the other characters mentioning him briefly, yet Dracula was scary in an insidious way. He isn't a straight up, come-at-you-to-wreak-havoc villain, but a beast with a very clear mind and purpose hatching schemes and bidding his time to come. Voldemort is probably moulded after Dracula (sharing of blood, two way connection... see what you did there Rowling!) The pace of the story was steady and sometimes boring, when the intensity was built up, the ending came abrupt and flat. I would say this narrative paved the way for future horror writers, as certain elements so common nowadays were already included in Dracula.

All the Light We Cannot See: Told through the eyes of two children of different nationalities living in the times of World War 2, Doerr brought to life a story of courage, hope and resilience. Here we have a blind French girl navigating her way through her keen seen of touch and smell; there we have an inventive German boy with albinism making tough choices between realising his potential and staying true to himself. What seemed like disparate threads of the story came together through an ingenious arrangement by the author. This was one of the very few good reads that I've come by in recent years, and I especially like the author's rich vivid descriptions of the things the female protagonist touched or smelled. His storytelling soothes me, like a blanket of calm settling over me as the storm rages outside. The length of each chapter is quite short, and it was perfect for my pre-bedtime reading.

China Rich Girlfriend: Oh, the lengths I went to hunt for a copy of this novel! I never liked how US publishers treat their mass-produced softcover novels: ugly font type, tissue thin pages and low quality covers. If I can help it, I will search for the same title published in the UK or elsewhere, as was the case with "China Rich Girlfriend". I got the Australian version at a bookstore near my workplace and it was worth every cent. Simple red-and-black cover with the title in bold white lettering, the manuscript set in an elegant yet easy-to-read font and printed on paper that wouldn't crease when flipped ... all the more enjoyable when I hopped on to the wild ride that the author provided. I thought the author did an outstanding job in "Crazy Rich Asians", and he outdid himself in this sequel which also explored the lives of affluent Chinese people, this time in China. I like how he layered the characters so that they were convincingly real, and how he wrote about the feelings and psychology behind maintaining a materialistic life. From the little hints that the author dropped throughout the book, it seemed like there will be a third book coming (YAY!).

Career of Evil: I like how Rowling came up with fresh ideas to work on, for each of the installments in her Cormoran Strike series. This time, it's Body Integrity Identity Disorder, where otherwise healthy and functioning individuals get rid of certain parts of their body to match their mind's impression of what they should look like. I haven't come across this condition until I read this book, and was quite impressed to find all-rounded discussion of it through the lens of the characters. Rowling also went off the beaten path in search of new locales to set her story in, which made the story all the more enjoyable. At times, she included a few "moral of the story" moments that, to me, felt out of place with the plot. Rowling could've left subtler hints for us readers to arrive at her intended message, rather than spelling out the terms so clearly as if it were a high-school essay. All in all, a neat piece of work, the kind that educates more than entertains. Rowling played it safe with this one.

The Little Prince: For a "modern classic" (whatever that means), this story is short and can easily be related to. The author used simple analogies and not-so-subtle references to poke at our own human failures and societal injustices. I especially like that the author included some of his hand-painted drawings in his work to bring out his points. Although it is meant for children and adults alike, I think that the story is a grown-up's version of a bedtime story/ lullaby. 

1984: The author was excellent in setting the mood for each phase of the story. You get the constricted feeling of living in a suppressed society where nothing is quite right, then the adrenaline rush of trying not to get caught red-handed, to the final breakdown and despair at trying to subvert an existing system but failed. Many of the elements found in the story still prevail in our current society, like war, economic growth, media etc. What truly stood out was that the author had dissected the way how things are and why they exist. The author had arrived at atomic bits of "truth", and this is why the story is still powerful and shocking to many of us today. From the beginning to the end, it was engaging and masterful storytelling at work.

Monday, 19 September 2016

Pink Blossoms!


A jog in the park, a quiet morning to enjoy a cup of chilled coffee, a quarter-hour's worth of reading for pleasure — it takes very little to make me happy, actually. All I need are these small moments to recharge my battery.

I don't have much to offer in terms of life updates, except to say that I was so glad to encounter these pink blossoms shed by that tree pictured above. Wonder what it's called. Seems like some trees here still live as if there were seasons.

Monday, 9 May 2016

Pursuing Happiness

People wait all week for Friday, all year for summer, all life for happiness. 

Happiness is overrated. We put in so much effort trying to be happy and when we fall short of that goal, we end up feeling unhappy (ironic huh). I realised from a very young age that I just seem not hardwired to feel happiness intensely. Anxiety and melancholy are more familiar companions, while happiness is like a distant cousin who visits irregularly. This works out fine for me, because when I do feel happy, after a long spell of living with negative emotions, it is all the more genuine and welcoming, like rain after a drought. 

If I think about it deeper, this is actually unhealthy. Why? Because there lurk two assumptions: happiness is "earned" and happiness is beyond my control. First, in order for me to be happy, I have to go through various ordeals, like working long hours during the weekdays then only getting to unwind during the weekend. Happiness, then, is a consequence - something has to happen before I can be happy. Second, in order for me to be happy, I have to wait for someone else to bestow it on me, like getting a paycheck at the end of the month, or getting a gift on my birthday, or praying hard until something I desire happens. Happiness, in this regard, occurs only on special occasions when someone else decides to be, well, generous.

It doesn't have to be like that, I soon realised. I don't have to "save it for later" every time something good comes along. I don't have to endure life before I enjoy it. I can take small steps finding joy in every day. Taking coffee when I feel like savouring the taste of it, not just to keep myself awake. Reading another chapter of whatever book I'm currently enjoying. Listening to songs that match my mood of the moment, but not putting them on repeat. Setting aside some personal time at the end of the day, doing what I feel like doing - could be reading, could be another episode of TV drama, could be refreshing news updates on my phone. Monitoring my expenses so I don't splurge on impulse purchases and don't skimp on basic necessities. Cutting down on stress eating, specifically junk food and caffeinated drinks. Getting afternoon naps during the weekends. Being more mindful of what I speak so I don't offend other people or put myself in a bad situation. Organising and cleaning my room to minimise clutter and dust. Spending quality time with family and close friends. Visiting new places to eat/drink during lunch breaks. 

Writing this out has made me understand that there are so many ways to make myself happy. Accumulating possessions makes me happy, but this kind of materialistic happiness wears off quickly and is tiresome to maintain. Gaining new experiences and tending to my physical, mental as well as spiritual needs also makes me happy, but they are harder to achieve on a daily basis without conscious effort. Happiness is complex, happiness is fleeting, happiness is not always better than unhappiness. What's the point, then? I think the pursuit of happiness means different things for different people, and if trying to be happy makes you unhappy, then you better go after "what feels right to you" instead of "what should make you happy". 

Don't pursue happiness, if it doesn't make you happy. 

© Lumière
Maira Gall