Tuesday, 31 December 2013

再见2013

“你这么开朗的人不会明白的,看你平时笑得那么开朗。” 有一位朋友是这么对我说的。笑就一定是开朗吗?

今年经历了很多事
跟不同的人打过交道
起起落落
算是蛮艰辛的一年

朋友们纷纷到外地、外国升学
而我依然在原地
有少少的挫折感
错过异地文化的熏陶
也告别我理想的大学生活
虽然现实残酷
不得不低头
但我从未后悔选修心理学
各种迹像显示
我的选择是对的
只是有点辛苦

个个都离去了
也不知道
最后一个聚会
最后一杯茶
是什么时候
会不会再见面
也无人知晓
所以朋友们的邀约
我都尽量答应
哪怕是见他们
最后一面

尽管严格来说
在新加坡旅游的日子
只是探亲
这还算是我今年
最开心的一章吧

今年遇到赏识我的
讲师和同学
很知足了
不需要全世界人的
认可和爱戴

当然也有不愉快的时候
无心伤害别人
虽然不完全是我的错
但我还是诚心道歉
为此我去学学
道歉的艺术

有时别人用言语中伤我
愤怒过
悲伤过
还是挺过来了
因为有更重要的东西
需要我去做
就当作是过眼云烟
那些人
总有一天会遭到报应的
至少我是这么
恳切地希望着:P

我发现
我的发泄管道是
听音乐
我也发现
我变了
受到友人的影响
每个学期的
作业、报告、温习
越做越快
也越来越会安排时间
变得对时间很敏感
不敢蹉跎岁月
片刻都不敢放松

休闲时候
和放假期间
倒是有看几本书
可是很少有能勾起我兴趣的书
电视剧反而越看越多

今年也看到
我关注的部落格
相继关闭
抑或积灰尘
越来越少朋友坚持
更新部落格
应该是各有各忙吧

而我
好似在天台上
对着大蓝天呐喊
写网志的兴趣大减
懒得更新
懒得分享
曾经有几次想
关掉部落格算了
可是每次都
心软地回来

明年我会更忙
说不准能写到几时
所以
我开了个新的部落格
看看能否
比今年更新的多
有兴趣的话
请关注dayre.me/sonnyhumble
明年见!

Soundtrack of My 2013

Music has played a very large part in my life, especially so this year. Oftentimes I found comfort in the songs I listened to, for they put into words things that I encountered and felt but couldn't express. In times of sadness, anger, anxiousness and joy, I turned to music (without fail). Here are some of the songs that I enjoyed this year (in no particular order):
  • James Blake's DLM, Retrogade and The Wilhelm Scream
  • Bastille's Pompeii
  • Justin Timberlake's Tunnel Vision, TKO, Cabaret, Amnesia, Murder, Blindness and Mirrors
  • The Neighbourhood's Sweater Weather
  • Skydive's Chicago 
  • Luigi Boccherini's String Quintet in D Major, No. 6, Op. 30
  • Claude Debussy's Clair de Lune
  • Ed Sheeran's Kiss Me, Lego House, Give Me Love and I See Fire
  • Ellie Goulding's How Long Will I Love You and Burn
  • Yaël Naïm's cover of Britney Spears' Toxic
  • John Newman's Love Me Again
  • EXO's Growl and Miracles in December
  • Katy Perry's Roar and Unconditionally
  • OneRepublic's Something I Need and Counting Stars
  • James Arthur's Roses
  • From The Heirs original soundtrack (I told you it's decent): Cold Cherry's Growing Pains 2, Chang-min's Moment, Park Jang Hyeon & Park Hyeon Gu's Love Is ... , Lee Hong Ki's I'm Saying, eSNa's Bite My Bottom Lip, Park Shin Hye's Story and Lena Park's Only with My Heart
  • From Good Doctor original soundtrack: Butterfly and 2BiC's I Am in Love
  • 2NE1's Missing You
  • Florence + the Machine's You've Got the Love and Cosmic Love
  • Lana Del Rey's Serial Killer, Young and Beautiful, Radio and Dark Paradise
  • From 세상 어디에도 없는 착한 남자 original soundtrack: Lonely, Bueno Hombre, Magnolia, Before Winter Comes, and Song Joong Ki's Really
Out of these songs, my favourites are:

Credits: RCA, Warner Music Group, Capitol, WaterTower Music, Decca Records
  • Justin Timberlake's Mirrors. I've replayed this song for so many times but it still doesn't bore me. The music video for this song inspired one of my assignments: a research proposal entitled A Mixed-Methods Study of Loneliness Management among Older People. And it scored the highest in my class!
  • Ed Sheeran's Give Me Love. Oh, this song is definitely a soul-soothing one for me this year. Stress-reliever, I called it. When I got stuck in assignments, when I just couldn't see a way out anymore, I sought out this song. 
  • Katy Perry's Unconditionally. This is a more personal song, for me. I don't usually listen to Katy Perry's songs, but I really like this one because it sings of hope and optimism in spite of setbacks. It motivated me during the dreary months of October and November, when the assignments and exams were literally strangling me. 
  • Ed Sheeran's I See Fire. I found this song recently. Ed Sheeran wrote and performed it after watching The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug. Apparently the movie ended on a cliffhanger (I haven't watched it!) and the singer created the song to "ease the audience back into reality and calm it a little bit after the intense ending." I find it equally melancholy and calming - it's an appropriate song to end 2013 and prepare for the coming year, where almost everything essential in the country will be more expensive. T.T

Thursday, 26 December 2013

圣诞2013


一如既往
我没庆祝圣诞
只是在平安夜
和家人到吧生
一个叫作“乱乱炒”的
“住家式海鲜煮炒档 ”
吃顿晚饭
那里的海鲜很新鲜
半点腥味都没有
而且煮得很好吃
值得赴远路一试

尽管没迎接圣诞
我还是找了些圣诞歌
自个儿听听、享受
投入假期的气氛


因为家里不信教
所以没上教堂
家里也没圣诞摆饰
购物广场倒是有很多
美轮美奂的假圣诞树
近期我刚好
陪亲友逛街
所以拍了些
圣诞摆饰的照片
我最爱万达购物广场
新翼的热气球和木马
很有创意


大舅一家人已
出国旅行
留下外婆和女佣

我们家和其他舅舅、阿姨
轮流陪外婆
刚好昨天圣诞
只有我们这家人得空
所以我和妹妹
在大舅家住上一晚

我有个表弟
已经“轮班”了三天
本来应该昨天回去的
谁知因为沟通出问题
舅父没来接他
舅母打来反问表弟
为啥他没叫她接他
最后我表弟很戏剧化地
看着窗外的大雨
对着电话叫舅母
别来了
他再住一晚

故事还没结束
真的好像置身电影

女佣偷偷
以除草为理由
和邻居的女佣谈天
外婆又在埋怨女佣
所以我探个究竟
表弟也跟着来

不记得有多少次了
我帮外婆做点事
表弟一直随着我
现在我明白
电视剧《继承者们》里头
金元被弟弟金叹缠着
是什么感觉了

外婆告诉我
表弟怕一个人睡
所以嘱咐我
一定要陪他睡
还叫我帮他盖被
当他是亲弟弟一样照顾

整夜我都没怎么睡
一来我认床
再者表弟很好动
滚来滚去
好像在煎香肠
或者翻炒什么东西
乱乱炒

大概是房间太热不透风
刚好我睡的那一边
靠近风扇
表弟应该是觉得太热
(听他的呼吸有点阻塞)
频频滚到我这边来
图个凉风

表弟整晚都在
大口大口地呼吸
他一度静下来时
我还以为他已昏厥什么的
查看清楚他没事我才睡
简言之
我睡得不安

原来
有个弟弟
是这样的

Saturday, 21 December 2013

차칸 남자

[SPOILER ALERT!: The following is a review of the Korean drama series 세상 어디에도 없는 착한남자. Don't let me ruin it for you if you haven't watch it.]

Posters for the drama

About the title:
The writer intended to have the drama named 세상 어디에도 없는 차칸 남자, but later changed it to its current form, 세상 어디에도 없는 착한 남자, the reason being that 착한 남자 is orthographically correct. In director Kim Jin Won's words: "The lead character describes himself as a nice guy but in reality he is using another person’s love for his own love and is a bad guy who is only out for revenge. We [purposely misspelled the title] for sarcastic reasons." Given that the English translation for the original title varies and that I really like the writer's idea, I'll refer to this drama as 차칸 남자 rather than adopting its official name or any English translation.      

Synopsis:
Kang Ma Ru, a dutiful brother, promising medical student and a nice guy in general, sacrificed himself for Han Jae Hee, the woman he loved, only to be betrayed by her. Ma Ru met Seo Eun Gi by chance and Eun Gi fell in love with him. Knowing that Jae Hee is Eun Gi's stepmother, Ma Ru approached and used Eun Gi to exact his revenge on Jae Hee.

Review:
차칸 남자 slits open the darker side of human reality and plumbs the unfathomable depths of the human heart. Common throughout the drama were such themes as love, greed, selfishness, poverty, death, suffering and above all, hope and the will to live. Being a makjang (roughly translated as melodrama), the series of course has its fair share of betrayals, plots, and schemes. How far would one go, in search of love, money, or power? 

Seeing the characters doing just about anything to get what they wanted chilled my heart to its core, or at least sent shivers down my spine. Maybe that was the intention of the writer and the director. In that case, they succeeded in bringing out the worst in us. The environmental influences shouldn't be disregarded, though. The characters' actions were unforgivable but not unfathomable.  Once you understand what motivates somebody - their raison d'être, in this drama's case - what they think, feel and do fall into place:
  • Ma Ru had lost his father (I guessed his father was good to him and his half-sister based on the family photo they had taken and the confession Ma Ru made to his dead father), gave up everything for the woman he loved, and was hardened by life. Was it any wonder that he became cynical, cold, and heartless? The only thing that stopped him from killing himself was that his ailing sister needed him. Everything he did - cheat, swindle, steal, lie - was done to procure money for his sister's treatment. Later when he fell in love with Eun Gi whom he had manipulated, his sole motivation in life became Eun Gi's well-being.
  • Jae Hee was motivated by selfish reasons. Coming from a poor village like Ma Ru, she had suffered from poverty but was happy because of the love she shared with her boyfriend, Ma Ru. Her life changed when she met a wealthy man (Eun Gi's father) and promptly turned her back Ma Ru, choosing money over love. She climbed up the social ladder, gained material wealth and eventually took control of her dead husband's company. Even after she had a son, she still had lingering love for Ma Ru. Now that she had wealth, she was determined to chase after her lost love. 
  • Brought up like a son and groomed by her steely father to take over her father's business, Eun Gi didn't want to be weak like her mother, who "hid and ran like a loser". Instead, Eun Gi stayed in her position as heiress and was determined to get what was rightfully hers. She lived for, and fought for herself. An unexpected turn of events - meeting and falling in love with Ma Ru, and later, losing her memory due to a car accident - changed her motivations. Eun Gi now lived on her love for Ma Ru and her determination to recover her lost memory.

Ma Ru (left) and Eun Gi

The writer seemed to have pulled out all the stops to deliver the necessary betrayal, romance, revenge, lies and tears (bucketfuls of them). Sometimes I couldn't tell what the characters' motives really were: did Ma Ru really loved Eun Gi or was he just using her? Did Jae Hae really missed the old times and wanted to get back together with Ma Ru? To be sure, a grim and gloomy atmosphere permeated 차칸 남자, broken only by the funny Park Jae Gil (played by Lee Kwang Soo) and his relationship with his best friend's sister Kang Choco. Some of the plot twists were predictable, others were blown out of proportion. At times they were so exaggerated that I felt it best to leave my brains aside and just enjoy the show. I was also bothered by the display of evil, in varying degrees, by all the leading characters (a rather disturbingly negative outlook on human nature).

The cinematography was great, as evident in the flawless switches between scenes. The pace was slow at the beginning and only picked up in later episodes. Character development was well-executed, but adding in amnesia and prosopagnosia (inability to recognise faces) was a risky move. If it weren't for the car accident and Eun Gi's subsequent brain injury, the story would've ended in, say, 10 rather than 20 episodes. Was the writer showing off her knowledge that brain injury is wide-ranging, not limited to just memory loss? It annoyed me when Ma Ru said that he also suffered from prosopagnosia. As for the soundtrack/background music, I think they were paired well with the scenes, placed at the right times at the appropriate volume.

The ending

The ending was open to interpretation. Did it happen? Was it just a dream? If you hate ambiguities, then you won't like the ending as much as those who like the dreamlike "happily-ever-after". In all fairness, the cast gave a stellar performance (don't you just want to stab Han Jae Hee?) and the drama series itself delivered its promises as a makjang. 

Cast and crew of 세상 어디에도 없는 착한남자

Wednesday, 18 December 2013

Good Doctor

[SPOILER ALERT!: The following review contains spoilers from the drama "Good Doctor". Proceed at your own discretion.]

Poster for "Good Doctor"
"Good Doctor" deals with the struggles and triumphs of pediatricians who are devoted to the cause of saving young lives. Also highlighted in the drama are social issues like medical insurance systems that are flawed and the hospital systems that are geared towards profiteering rather than saving lives, which ultimately affects the working environment of pediatricians. - Source: KBS

With pediatrics as its backdrop, "Good Doctor" describes the challenges that Park Shi On, a young adult male who has Asperger's syndrome, has to overcome in order to be a pediatric surgeon. Shi On has exceptional abilities, like superb long-term memory and rare spatial skills, but he faces socioemotional and communication challenges.

Although I haven't specifically learn about autism in my psychology courses so far, I did pick up some knowledge about it here and there. I was genuinely intrigued by the drama, as I hadn't watched any drama that had a leading character with autism in it. I will, however, limit my discussion on the disorder spectrum, since I'm not an expert of the field.

I was captivated by the first episode itself, as it nicely balanced information from the past about Shi On and the present situation where Shi On found himself in. I especially liked the flashback scenes depicting Shi On's close relationship with his brother.

The portrayal of Shi On by actor Joo Won was realistic enough without much exaggeration. The slumped shoulders, fidgety hands and avoidant gaze weren't overdone. Joo Won was also able to deliver the childlike and adorable lines, which I find were mostly succinct but meaningful. Shi On's catchphrase "hurry, hurry" was at times cute and annoying. I was surprised to hear such deep philosophy coming from Shi On and the children. I was equally, if not more, surprised that Joo Won could sing very well, though of course not as well as Baek Ji Young, the "OST Queen" who lent her voice in the form of a ballad called "Is Crying" to the drama series.

The other characters were well-portrayed too, thanks to the carefully constructed script. The writer placed equal emphasis on various content areas: autism, society's view on autism, autism from the point of view of persons with autism, character development, politics in hospital, love and redemption. The characters were multifaceted - throughout the series I could see the many sides to each character and watch them develop individually. For instance, Shi On matured emotionally towards the end of the story, and was able to handle issues in an adult-like manner. Stated another way, the drama has a lot of round characters.

Furthermore, the drama had a handful of surreal operation scenes, the earliest of which made me cringe because they were simply too good. Kudos to the production team for their well-invested effort. I wasn't familiar with the medical terms and cases used throughout the series, so I couldn't testify to their authenticity. However, I could see the effort that the writer and producers put in to simplify and explain the jargon so that we the audience wouldn't be intimidated.

The love story between Shi On and Yoon Seo was, like Shi On himself, adorable, innocent and childlike. At first I thought Yoon Seo wouldn't return the feelings, but when her sisterly love for Shi On developed into a romantic one, I was very glad. While elaborating on this love story, the writer didn't forget to bring in the stereotypes associated with loving someone who has autism or savant syndrome. Subtly done.

Although there was a slight lull in the middle of the drama, it was generally rather fine. My heartstrings were tugged at so many times from the very beginning to the end of it. The "villains" weren't really evil, nor was their presence felt - probably due to the fact that the main focus of the drama was on autism and its challenges. There wasn't a boring moment: the script, pace and acting were impeccable.

Cast and crew of "Good Doctor"

Saturday, 14 December 2013

The Heirs

[SPOILER ALERT!: if you have not finished watching the drama, you may choose not to continue reading this long review]

Posters for "The Heirs"
"The Heirs" depicts the friendships, rivalries and love lives of young, rich heirs led by Kim Tan (Lee Min Ho) and a girl named Cha Eun Sang (Park Shin Hye). The series follows a group of privileged, rich, elite high school students as they are groomed to take over their families' business empires. These wealthy students seem to have everything under control, except their love lives. Kim Tan is a handsome and wealthy Korean heir to a large conglomeration who is sent to study abroad in the U.S. In reality, it's a form of exile, as his elder half-brother back home, Kim Won (Choi Jin-hyuk) schemes to take over the family business. While in the States, Kim Tan bumps into Cha Eun Sang (Park Shin Hye), who has arrived from Korea in search of her older sister. Slowly, he feels himself falling for her, never realizing that she's the daughter of his family's housekeeper. When Kim Tan's fiancée, Rachel Yoo (Kim Ji Won), arrives to bring him back to Korea, his heart is torn between love and duty. Meanwhile, Rachel's future stepbrother and Kim Tan's former best friend, Choi Young Do (Kim Woo-bin) goes to the same school as Kim Tan and Eun Sang. The troubles arise as the heirs realize the differences between money and the real world. - Source: Wikipedia

Let me just say at the outset that the writer for this Korean drama, The Heirs, did not fully explore the plot and sub-plots. The conflict was revealed only after about 10 episodes or so, and the pace was awfully slow, wrapping things up only in the final two episodes. 

To digress a little, actually there were heirs and heiresses, so "The Heirs" is not really an appropriate name for the drama (not to mention sexist). "The Inheritors" would be a better option, but since most of my friends refer to it as "The Heirs", I'll use it for easy reference.

The writer could've (and should've) written it better, as I can see that she incorporated original, marvelous dialogues and monologues into the otherwise clichéd Cinderella story. The writer also managed to bring in creative touches to the story, i.e. putting something innocuous earlier, then "BAM!", slam the reality in your face later. I think the relationships other than the romantic one between the main leads were painted with excellent breadth and depth, like the sibling conflict/relationship between Kim Won and Kim Tan, the employer/employee relationship between Han Ki Ae and Park Hee Nam as well as the unrequited love that Choi Young Do had for Cha Eun Sang. With such a talented cast (and let's not forget their good looks :P), it is quite saddening to see that the full potential of the story was untapped.

I enjoyed watching this couple, besides Chan Young & Bo Na
What I hated about the drama was when there were important scenes and the atmosphere was successfully built up, suddenly "LOVE IS THE MOMENT!~~". They played Chang Min's (from the band, 2AM) song at the really wrong times. When it was supposed to be played, it was either perfect silence, or some other song took over. When it was not an opportune moment for the song, it was played! 

Unanswered questions/need further elaboration (in no particular order of importance):
  • How did Lee Hyo Shin and Kim Tan meet? It was mentioned that Hyo Shin went to the U.S.. Tan even knew of Hyo Shin's medical condition and suicide attempt, but how did their relationship develop? More importantly, what was Hyo Shin's story?
  • Jo Myung Soo provided comic relief for the drama, but nothing much was explained about his character, except that he was a lawyer's son, partied hard and liked photography. What was he like, apart from his happy-go-lucky side?
  • Esther Lee and Yoon Jae Ho were in love years ago, but apparently Esther chose career over Jae Ho. What was their backstory?
  • Jeon Hyun Joo received a lot of help and support from Jeguk Group, which facilitated her academic success. She was also Kim Won's (Jeguk Group's CEO) secret lover. Again, how did Hyun Joo and Won met and fell in love with each other?
  • Oh, the cunning Jeong Ji Suk! How did she enter into a marriage with Kim Nam Yoon, father of Kim Won and Kim Tan?
  • Missing parents: Who was Chan Young's mother? Who was Eun Sang's father? What were they like?
  • Cha Eun Sang and Yoon Chan Young were best friends, but throughout the unnecessarily complicated love between Eun Sang and Tan, Eun Sang rarely looked for Chan Young's help/support, or disclosed anything to him. Oh writer, why didn't you explore the friendship further?
  • Who won the paintball game? Who was the last one standing?

What I think were brilliant attempts by the writer (smart, SMART moves!):

Drawing parallels between Kim Tan's mother's urgent search for his son and Choi Young Do's mother's desperate search for his son. In the past, Tan helped Young Do's mum to locate Young Do, but Young Do, being immature and angry at his best friend for something they both witnessed, shrugged Tan's hands away. Young Do did not see his mum for the last time. Three years later, Tan's mother tried to severe her relationship with her evil husband, but her husband refused to "break up" with her, forcing her to "take a vacation" in the U.S.. While trying to get away from her husband's bodyguards, Ki Ae went to Tan's school and looked for him. Incidentally, Young Do saw her and, knowing that not much time was left, he ran and looked for Tan. Despite their differences, Young Do didn't want Tan to have regrets like he did. This really brought tears to my eyes.

Kim Tan gives his mum a necklace. Before Ki Ae decided to leave her husband (that heartless Nam Yoon), Nam Yoon compared her to cheap, shiny jewellery, blaming her for everything that happened in the family (when in fact he was the real troublemaker). It broke Ki Ae's heart. On Tan's 18th birthday, Ki Ae wasn't allowed to attend her son's birthday party due to her status as Nam Yoon's mistress - she could only watch from her hotel room window what was going on below. Tan brought Eun Sang together to his mother's room, celebrating his birthday with his mum. He took out an expensive-looking necklace and helped his mum wear it. Cheap, shiny jewellery, huh? Take that, Nam Yoon!

Young Do, forever alone?
Young Do's story arc. In the beginning he was cast as an evil bully, getting what he wanted his way. As the story unfolds, however, we could see what made him behave this way. His father physically abused him when he did something wrong, his mother left him and his father, his best friend wasn't what he appeared to be. When Eun Sang's mum prepared food for Young Do to eat, he experienced maternal love and care. That made him miss his mother more. Eun Sang called him the same way his mother did, affectionately - "Young Do-ah": that hurt him very much. Those little things that Young Do did for his first love, Eun Sang, went unnoticed and unappreciated. The help that Young Do gave Eun Sang, in spite of her not loving him back. Him "breaking up" with her, and the little speech he gave. Oh, his heart-rending lines, like: "I just came here because I was lonely" and "because it doesn't seem weird eating alone here" and "I don't even know what to do about my wounds, how could I do something about yours?" Him apologising to the guy he bullied. His search for his mother ended with the two reuniting with one another. I can't praise the writer enough, for sketching out this character so thoroughly, making us alternately love, hate, curse and pity the poor boy. 

Kim Won (left) and Kim Tan
Kim Won's change of attitude towards his half-brother, Kim Tan. Won lost his mother when he was young, and his father brought home a half-brother. Imagine the pain he had gone through. Although Tan loved his brother very much and was incessantly polite as well as nice to him, Won still regarded Tan as a nuisance, a mistake his father committed and a threat to his position. Tan's genuine concern for his brother finally broke the icy barrier between them. I liked how Won helped Tan get up, after the breakup with Eun Sang and how Won helped Eun Sang get back to her "former life". Although it could be argued that Won did those to honour the deal he had with Tan, it was quite good to see the brothers unite against their enemies. And also Won's smile after he saw Tan and Eun Sang arguing like the lovers they were.

Throughout the story, many contrasts were presented (another strength of the writer's). Father-son relationship: contrast Kim Nam Yoon/Kim Tan pair and Yoon Jae Ho/Yoon Chan Young pair. Mother-daughter relationship: contrast Park Hee Nam/Cha Eun Sang pair and Esther Lee/Rachel Yoo pair. Employer/employee relationship: contrast Han Ki Ae/Park Hee Nam pair and Kim Won/Yoon Jae Ho pair. Romantic relationship: contrast Yoon Chan Young/Lee Bo Na pair and Kim Tan/Cha Eun Sang pair. You get the idea.

I liked how the ending was written: somewhere between an open-ended/ambiguous conclusion and a "happily ever after" ending. Bittersweet, poignant and touching. On the one hand, I liked the reunion between Choi Young Do and his mother (that was like the best ever scene, after he was repeatedly spurned by Cha Eun Sang). Kim Nam Yoon woke up from his coma and had a successful operation. Although I'd rather see him die, his new civil attitude towards Cha Eun Sang was not too bad.

The underutilised titular phrase
On the other hand, I liked how Kim Won finally felt the price of his "crown", or the full weight of his responsibilities. Not everybody got what they wanted, like Kim Tan did. Speaking of which, the words "one who wants to wear the crown, bears the crown" were mentioned at the beginning and the end of the drama, but were never fully utilised throughout the story. So many lovey-dovey scenes, but little sibling rivalry or familial conflict - what crown was there? Esther Lee and Yoon Jae Ho remained unattached - I think after experiencing so many conflicts, Esther would prefer to be alone. Lee Hyo Shin decided to get into the army and Kim Tan arrived at the station in the nick of time to send his senior off (Rachel Yoo finally did something good). Ah, the relationship between Hyo Shin and Rachel didn't develop, much to their fans' disappointment. Maybe we can get a sequel?

All in all, the drama was rather empty, if you take away the beautiful actors and actresses or the decent soundtrack. There were some precious moments though (yes, pun intended) - the writer's brilliance of mind peeped through here and there. I'm not going to go so far as to degrade the drama like how the Kim Nam Yoon character scolded his mistress; instead, I'll describe how I felt while I was watching this drama, using a quote from it:
“I’m just in a dream. A dream that is going to end when I wake up. Just a midsummer night’s dream.”

Cast and crew of "The Heirs". Shot at the final episode.
  
Allow me to post the lyrics for "Moment" (it's quite cheesy, but I love it):




In your eyes In your mind
sarangi geuryeojyeo
uri meolli isseodo
garyeojin dedo Love is you
baram gyeore nalli un geuriumi
nae maeumeul jeon haejugil
Love is the moment
niga odeon geunal geu sungan
du nune maejhyeo gaseume
maejhyeo jakku tteo olla
Love is the moment
niga gadeon geunal geu sungan
ijeul su eobseo jakku tteo olla
Close your eyes Close your ears
sarangi neukkyeojyeo
neoreul jabji motaedo
anji motaedo Love is you
haetsal soge garyeojin geuriumi
nae maeumeul jeon haejugil
Love is the moment
niga odeon geunal geu sungan
du nune maejhyeo gaseume
maejhyeo jakku tteo olla
Love is the moment
niga gadeon geunal geu sungan
ijeul su eobseo jakku tteo olla
Love is the moment neoreul
bonaen geunal geu sungan
shimjangi meomchwo shigani
meomchwo jakkuman apa
Love is the moment neoreul
tteonan geunal geu sungan
sarangdo tteona jakkuman apa
In your eyes In your mind sarangi
Romanization: KROMANIZED.com
In your eyes, in your mind,
love is being drawn
Even if we’re far apart, even if
we’re hidden, love is you
I hope the longing that comes
with the wind can tell you my heart
Love is the moment, the day,
the moment you came
You filled up my eyes, you filled
up my heart and I keep thinking of you
Love is the moment, the day,
the moment you left I can’t forget it,
I keep thinking about it
Close your eyes, close you ears,
I feel the love
Even if I can’t catch you, even if
I can’t hug you, love is you
I hope the longing that is hidden
in the sunlight can tell you my heart
Love is the moment, the day,
the moment you came
You filled up my eyes, you filled
up my heart and I keep thinking of you
Love is the moment, the day,
the moment you left I can’t forget it,
I keep thinking about it
Love is the moment, the day,
the moment I let you go
My heart stopped, time stopped,
it keeps hurting
Love is the moment, the day,
the moment I left you
Love left too, it keeps hurting
In you eyes, in your mind, love is…
English: POP!GASA

Wednesday, 11 December 2013

11/12/13

"I'm watching you from on high."

 Christmas is two weeks away, and my last paper is tomorrow.
After tomorrow, my term break begins!
Such a rarity for my department to have a month-long break,
but I'm not complaining! :D

Saturday, 30 November 2013

Unconditionally

You concede, you yield, you swallow your pride

Because you value your relationship more than winning or being right

You do so much, you go to great lengths 

 Simply because you care

You give your best, your all, even when you have some misgivings

Even when they have hurt you deeply enough to open a chasm in you

 Even when they are arrogant in their ignorance

Even when you know, in the years to come, they'll remember nothing of this

 Even when they barely show any gratitude or appreciation

Even when you know they use you like a disposable product

Even when they are insensitive to your needs and wants

 Even when there are times you feel so worn out, so exhausted

Even when you know nobody else can help you the way you help other people

Even when you know there will never, ever be any returns

Because what you do, many times over

You do it unconditionally.

Source: katyperry.com
[ Inspired by Katy Perry's "Unconditionally". ]

Wednesday, 30 October 2013

A Lull in a Storm

Been having some very rough weeks lately, dealing with academic and personal issues. Quite stormy I would say, like the weather. Only yesterday did I get a short break and some quiet time for myself. 

In the early afternoon today, a friend and I went to Bohemian Café. It wasn't a real café, but an annual event organised for the sixth time now. We slipped in towards the end of the event, and met our friend who was about to perform live for the first time. Naturally he was nervous, but I couldn't wait to see for myself what form would his performance take. 


There were colourful rugs arranged facing the makeshift stage, small pools of lights scattered here and there (think Deepavali), as well as pieces of cloth draped over the harsh white ceiling lamps, now dimmed. The effect? The room had a yellowish/orangeish hue to it and would be quite scary (think Halloween) if there weren't people singing, laughing and clapping.  


I was comfortable sitting cross-legged on the floor, immersing myself in the beauty of music flowing around me. While the aforementioned first-time performer was rapping (I never thought he could!) with his partner onstage, two course mates came and sat on either side of me. Like myself, they came to support my rapper friend. The rappers were going on about overachievers, and the friend on my right nudged me, saying "eh, you la overachiever". I smiled and shrugged it off, but I know what he said was reflective of me.

After the rap performance, most of my friends (and most of the audience too) left for their classes. I sat right where I was because I had no other commitments and was too lazy to take my shoes off to sit on the rugs. I listened to three other performances and felt grateful to have this little break. Time suspended, worries allayed - for the moment. 

The last performance was the best, probably because I recognised and love the song myself. It was Ed Sheeran's Give Me Love. The guy who did the cover of the song was using a portable karaoke machine whose name escaped me even though he did a good explanation of it. 


Nearing the end of the performance, the guy asked everyone in the room to join him. The left and right sides of the audience sang harmony, per the performer's instruction. It was a powerful, goosebump-inducing moment as different voices came together. In that instant I realised that music is a force on its own. Through the centuries different forms of music have come and go, but its core quality (e.g. soothes the soul, unites people) remains intact. Why else would anyone attend this event (besides giving their friends moral support), if not for an appreciation of music?

p. s. I found out later that Ed Sheeran already did this gospel choir / higher vs. lower harmony thing in last year's iTunes Festival. Copycat! - 5 Nov. 13.

Monday, 30 September 2013

《时差》

我睡時的翻身驚動了你的早晨
你就把早餐留着,火腿、面包還有
兩顆各自旋轉的荷包蛋
擺在餐桌中央,喂養
室內的低音。那些
尚未晾干的情緒
則周而復始的傾聽陽光,與葉綠素
讓過飽和的想像力呼吸
假若,每一座城都是
臨近光害的樞紐
我需將最暖和的部分封存
藏于時間的夾角,你說
“令吉與美元脫鉤了”
然後重復預習着
常會離題的天氣

然而驟雨的功能是為了衍生晴朗,為了
漲起與你相關的細節
你的身體掛着一面鐘
你的足跡就裝滿了時間
彳亍于平衡間距──
你渴望偏安的格局,或是
落雪的心情。仿佛羅馬式的街燈
即將使你完整,行李不過是一種
藏身的工具

至此,空氣竟讓緘默的語音
降溫成一幅未標記的地圖
裡頭安插太多風向太多
無法收容的對白,宛如
離開的語句,在時差裡潮流交換
我以營養學的知識,去計算
你行旅必須的卡路裡
一日之飲食是否如常
相加消失,排隊的人一一經過
你說,世界很小
“我在夢裡與時針一起奔跑,
一起健康,也一起變老……”

仿若話語還在旋轉,在敘事的轉角
不安的辭藻尚在風中
語音流轉,你的遠行尚未翻譯
我便把時間煮開,散布到世界以致
呼吸── 一種孤獨而頑強的氧氣
點亮各自的街燈,我們
將在時差裡對坐,齒輪般
彼此旋轉


【星洲日報/文藝春秋 ‧ 文 : 鄭羽倫】
 

Thursday, 19 September 2013

Avoidant

I sat at the back of the lecture hall today and it was big news.

My reason for this seemingly odd behaviour was this: I didn't get a seat that I wanted and I didn't want to be too physically close to my lecturer. When I met a friend who started asking me academic questions, I told him straightaway that I'd sit beside him and answer whatever query he had.  

For the first time ever, I experienced cognitive psychology lecture from the back of the class. It felt less intense because my course mates around me were laidback, though attentive. The downside of it was I couldn't hear my lecturer quite as clearly as I did in previous lectures. Especially her jokes. She made numerous jokes but I couldn't catch them all, hearing only laughter from my friends.

Over the break a few friends came to me and quizzed me about my seating choice. 

"What happened to you today?" and "Why sit at the back?" were the commonest ones. They thought I had some sort of fall-out with some friend or that I was angry about some matter ... when in fact I was perfectly fine, just slightly hungry. 

I was choosing my afternoon snack at a downstairs stall when I saw, out of the tail of my eye, a former tutor and a current lecturer, both of whom I have been earnestly avoiding. The tutor left, but not before he tried to make eye contact with me. The lecturer was paying his bill, and he took quite a long time to do it. I pretended to be interested in some bread and couldn't make up my mind. Finally I settled on oat biscuits.

Near the bank of elevators, I breathed a sigh of relief when I saw no trace of the aforementioned lecturer. In the previous semester, that lecturer marked my assignment, gave me the highest score and from what I heard from my friends, praised me effusively, his choice of words being "excellent, excellent, excellent". Some if not all of the tutors had read my work but I don't know what their thoughts were, so it's best I avoid any unnecessary contact with them. Because of this high score, a few weeks back two groups of friends tried to get me on their own team. How hard they fought. How torn I felt. All because of that freaking assignment.

As the elevator doors slid open, the lecturer whom I avoided just now came into view (it was exactly like in the movies). I had no other choice but to go in, along with a female stranger. The girl got off at the third floor, leaving my lecturer and I to our awkward ascent. 

You know the common myth that psychologists read minds? Actually we don't, but we usually have keen powers of observation. At least I know I'm observant, and my lecturer is way more observant than me. 

Before the girl left, my lecturer was like a good boy - hands by his side and eyes staring straight ahead (I guessed). I was standing firmly on both feet, my hands by my side, with my right hand gently holding my packet of biscuits.  He stood towards the back of the elevator, while I kept my place near the doors.

After the girl left, I clasped my hands in front of me, but still retained the same posture and kept my eyes staring fixedly ahead. My lecturer let loose of his body, swinging his arms and shifting his feet, almost as if dancing solo. At one point, the elevator's light bounced off his watch. I think he was trying to engage me. Still I didn't move.

When the doors opened again, my lecturer recomposed himself and hurried off to his office like he had some urgent business. If he is the powerful intellect I know him to be, he would have picked up on my body language and interpreted it as none other than fear.

Sunday, 8 September 2013

《海风吹皱时光》


高中时候总是在回教堂结束晨起第一段经文后独自一人穿过迷蒙幽静的邻里小路来到大路旁的一棵树下,距离巴士站有三四棵树的距离,为什么总是那里,我也不知道,像一种自然而然的定律。

六点钟左右,校车到了,上车时也不和谁打招呼,门“chi”一声关上,有种陈旧机器的机油味,而车上三三两两的白衣少年少女,各自昏昏欲睡。我喜欢选靠窗的位子,校车没有冷气,但打开窗子清晨的风又有点太冰凉,折衷留一个小缝,足够吹乱头发,透彻鼻息就好,然后把书包放在大腿上,调整坐姿,一路点着头,直到巴士抵达临海的校园。

二十分钟的路程,到校了天色依旧幽冥,课室里空空荡荡,兀又埋头在木桌上。有时睡不着,只是懒懒地趴着,直到同学慢慢填补课室的空洞,才上前问他们是不是有数学习题或物理习题可以借抄,有时候还尴尬地要再借一张活页纸。高中于是练就一手潦草的笔迹,仿佛为现在的记者生涯打基础。很快就把功课解决了,其他同学依旧陷在赶抄功课的漩涡里,我自己一人走到大食堂,买粥品、粿条仔,一定要放豆薄和辣椒酱,吃饱饱才好撑过每天起首最难挨的第一二节课,但其实九点钟第一个下课,总还会和班上的男生到大食堂马来饭档吃一盘炒饭,高中生涯像是疯狂发育般的饥饿。

有时候忘了带课本,要去其他班上张罗,一班一班叩门,一些夸张的同学还从朋友那里弄来其他班的课程表,早就拟定借课本的路线图,物理和理(3)借,生物就得找理(4)之类,有条不紊,但最怕其他班上有人行动不便,教室突然转移了,明明近在眼前的却必须上下四层楼奔跑,路线图的努力只能算白费,至今仍然不明了为何理科班总是被安排在最顶楼。况且殷勤的男生还得帮女生一把,总不能看着女生被罚吧,多么英雄主义的小男生的天真。

第二个下课则保留给合唱团,那是固定的集合时间,简短的开会啊报告啊,都在那短短的十五分钟里解决。每次第一个下课从食堂回到班上座位,看到桌上有张画着音符的小卡片,便意味着第二个下课要全体集合了。那样一个质朴的通讯方式,每次见到都要会心一笑,仿佛飞鸽传书的时光。

逢年过节,下课时间是大家互送礼物贺卡的繁忙时段,大家总是带着一点害臊,将手里的小礼物精心摆到在对方桌上,角度丝毫马虎不得,或是神秘惊喜,就得藏到抽屉深处,甚至要翻开对方的书包,却得弄得不留痕迹,实际上四周都是目击证人,但大家依然忘我地坚持秘密到底。

有时上课到一半,老师头顶上的广播器会突然响起,“请JXX XXXX的车主注意,你的车子已被海水淹没”,班上无不暗笑的。高年级的学生总爱开车上学,他们喜欢把车子停在校门马路对面一个深入海水的石灰斜坡,白天退潮时可以停整十辆车子,流动摊贩买卖生意,但悲剧总不时发生,听到这荒唐广播的,大概只有那位当事者要惨白了脸,乱了心搏,慌忙跌落椅子,连滚带爬地冲到海边搭救车子吧。

校园靠海,除了爱吃那出了名的rojak外,其实我很少到沙滩玩耍,和我相熟的朋友也一样,总觉得那里该是风帆社社员的天堂,古铜色的皮肤,没有半点多余脂肪的身材,徜徉在海峡艳阳挥洒的金碧辉煌里。或许是那一点一点的自卑感作祟,捆绑着我对海的向往,所以自小害怕水,害怕徜徉,总是循规蹈矩,少了几许轻狂。

临海那有停泊私人游艇的小码头,码头旁有个露天网球场,终年不见有人打网球,白衣少年少女总爱往哪儿跑,嬉耍玩闹,吹吹海风谈心说地,小海岬边沿尽是椰子树,岬底是乱石堆,我们总爱跳下石堆寻找海蟑螂的踪迹。为什么要找海蟑螂,我已记不清原因了,但我清晰记得,我们掀起一块石头,那些黑得发亮的海蟑螂便辐射般迅速爬过石板,躲到其他石缝里去,消失在只属于它们的无尽黑暗之中,完全不留一点痕迹,俗语说的时光如白马过隙,而我们的青春时光却正如海蟑螂,总令人心悸、神秘而又充满魅惑,使我们沉迷,使我们耽溺,一眨眼就都逃走了。

那时候数码相机不普及,手机都很原始地尽忠于沟通的功能,拍照是很稀奇很快乐的事情。在海岬拍摄宣传照,海风撩拨发迹,大家都露出额头,加上真挚的微笑,世界真是灿烂得不得了。

我曾与喜欢的女孩一起缓缓从免税城沿着海滩步行回校,她走在路肩上,我走在柏油马路的边沿,任来往的车子掠过,紧张得没法接话,我竟然唱起歌来,时光粘滞,那样一个画面,除了海的无垠,还能是什么呢?




【星洲日報/文藝春秋 ‧ 文:牛油小生】

Rainy September

Solid clouds, fluffy clouds, a respite from the endless spells of September rain.

Friday, 6 September 2013

Mindfulness Starts with A Sultana

Just today, my friends and I attended the very first session of a mindfulness training programme. I didn't know what to expect when I signed up for this free-of-charge course, so when we finally met our facilitator, who is Australian, I went "oh wow!" The other students were all girls, and I was the only guy (again, I didn't anticipate this). Awkward, but I'm used to this kind of awkwardness.

We introduced ourselves, as usual. It was interesting to hear what the others thought of when they first saw the word "mindfulness". We all have very different motivations for attending this training: learning how to manage stress, regulate emotions, engage with the present moment, etc. It was equally fascinating to see how each of us made our introductions. Some of us spoke using more general terms, some used a more academic approach (i.e. vocalise points as though writing an essay), others made more personal disclosures.

Our facilitator guided us through the history of Mindfulness. Basically, she said, people equate mindfulness with meditating monks or hermits, but it is more than that. A mindful person is able to savour the present moment fully and get in sync with bodily sensations, emotions as well as thoughts. Sounds tough to me. 

To illustrate what mindfulness truly means, our facilitator conducted two activities. In the first activity, she gave each of us a raisin. A sultana, she called it. Instead of directly eating it, we were instructed to feel the weight of the raisin nestling in our palm. Observe the contours, the shape, the light that glinted off the surface of the raisin. I admit, by the time we were told to roll the raisin between our thumb and forefinger, my mouth was full of saliva.

"Feel the texture, the creases. Now bring it to your ear and see if you can hear anything."

No kidding. I tried pinching my raisin (while swallowing some saliva) but couldn't hear a thing. 

"Bring it close to your nostrils and breathe in the scent of it." 

Normally my sense of smell would fail me but this time I did detect faint traces of dried grape. Sweet aroma (more saliva here). 

"Put it into your mouth. Don't swallow just yet. Feel it with your tongue. Roll it in your mouth. Take a bite, gently. What does it taste like? Now, chew on it. Is the flavour stronger now, sweeter?"

It took us about five to ten minutes just to eat a piece of raisin. You might laugh at the absurdity of it, but truly, the experience was novel, fresh and of course sweet. Too often we gobble down our food without paying much attention to what we eat, preferring instead to direct our attention to that television show, that message on our phone, or that new status update from our friend. What about the here and now?

The next activity was a "body scan". All of us lay on our backs on the floor, while our facilitator guided our attention to our toes, legs, thighs, abdomen, shoulders and head. She would tell us to focus on one part of our body and then we would attend to it. One of us was so relaxed that she began snoring seconds after the activity started. From time to time, I did slip slowly out of consciousness, only to snap my eyelids open and bring myself back to the moment. My thoughts were wandering too. I remembered that when I was unable to sleep, I would do the something similar to this activity - lie flat on my back and not move a muscle, then regulate my breathing, feel my weight on the bed, imagine the layers of bedclothes beneath me, the mattress, the flooring, the empty air ... all the way down to the earth, the minerals, the core of the Earth itself. 

For the first time in months, I felt I made a right choice and thoroughly enjoyed what I chose. All previous academic subjects were not as good as this! Honestly I wished that we had a subject like this in our psychology course. Looking forward to our next session. In the meantime, if you see me eating very slowly, that's just me practising to be more mindful!

Wednesday, 28 August 2013

Singapore Trip Photos - Recovered!

Last Friday I accidentally deleted all the photos in my phone, the most precious of which were those from my recent Singapore trip. A friend of mine mentioned the possibility of recovering accidentally deleted photos. Yesterday afternoon I searched online and tried out a few softwares that have such function. To my extreme joy, I managed to get back more than half of my photos! A few photos were damaged beyond repair (unfortunately) but all in all I am happy for what I can save.

Pardon my laziness to caption each photo - I'm just so overjoyed :D.


































It's actually indoors. Ceilings painted black.

At a MRT station. "Flat escalator" / moving walkway that moves rapidly!


Bugis Street.

Lunch at Old Town White Coffee (Bukit Timah branch). Look at those prawns!

Just look at 'em prawns! So big in size!

Science Centre Singapore. See two images?

Just born. Baby chicks.










I love this the most. Took it in a hurry and turned out clear.

My cousin's guitar.

At Din Tai Fung, you'll be given a rack to place your bag.




jem = Jurong East Mall?


© Lumière
Maira Gall